Thank You Your Holiness Awesome Speech Why Is It Funny

'Thank you, Your Holiness. Awesome speech'

Good Thursday morning. Doug HEYE, who needs no introduction, and Ryan LOSKARN, the Senate Republican Conference communications director, are both BIRTHDAY boys. If you're trying to figure out the perfect gift, housewares and anything monogrammed are solid.

Driving the day: British Prime Minister Gordon Brown meets with all three presidential candidates at the ambassador's residence, then heads to the White House.

Philly Daily News endorses — "Barack Obama has made us believe that, yes, he can."

BREAKING, from an Obama aide: "Today we will be announcing the support of some Pennsylvanians who have switched their allegiance from Clinton to Obama, largely because of her negativity."

Philly Inquirer front-page debate analysis — "Obama had the tougher night," by Thomas Fitzgerald: "Sen. Barack Obama was thrown on the defensive about everything from comments by his former pastor to his friendship with a member of the radical Weather Underground, to why he rarely wears an American flag pin [on] his lapel. It could not have been the performance Obama wanted to have six days before the state's primary, at a time when he needed to reassure voters who might have been put off by his recent remarks about 'bitter' small-town residents in the state who 'cling' to religion and guns because of their economic frustration."

BRIEFING: A Yahoo poll gives hope to Republicans … Romney startles a big banquet … Cheney jokes about Clinton, Obama — and himself … Mehlman takes a huge job at KKR … His Holiness learns about White House nicknames … In debate, Obama talks about flag pins and baking cookies … Clinton concedes he could win in November … Gallup finds purple-state trouble for McCain … Dems plan to make an issue of McCain supporting earmarks for Israel … Bloomberg has data showing Dems pushing the candidates toward protectionism … a new drive for an L.A. NFL stadium. BUT FIRST:

The RED BORDER goes GREEN. Time, with "How to Win The War On Global Warming," has a green border — only the second time in history that the magazine has altered the trademarked red border (the other one was black for Sept. 11). It's a strongly worded, prescriptive story about what to do about climate change, likening it to the effort made to get ready for World War II. (The cover is an enviro take on the classic Iwo Jima image).

Managing Editor Richard STENGEL, in a letter to readers, calls it a "megaproposal, a kind of 21st century Manhattan Project, using carbon-trading, alternative energy and an efficiency surge to get the most out of every kilowatt we produce — all with the aim of winning the war on global warming."

ZEITGEIST: "REPUBLICANS ARE NO LONGER UNDERDOGS" — OUT THIS MORNING — "AP-YAHOO poll shows McCain winning back unhappy Republicans," by AP's Alan Fram: "Republicans are no longer underdogs in the race for the White House. To pull that off, John McCain has attracted disgruntled GOP voters, independents and even some moderate Democrats who shunned his party last fall.

"Partly thanks to an increasingly likable image, the Republican presidential candidate has pulled even with the two Democrats still brawling for their party's nomination, according to an Associated Press-YAHOO news poll released Thursday. Just five months ago — before either party had winnowed its field — the survey showed people preferred sending an unnamed Democrat over a Republican to the White House by 13 percentage points."

Governor ROMNEY surprised last night's 64th annual Radio & Television Correspondents' Association Dinner by appearing onstage and tapping the dinner chairman, Steve Chaggaris of CBS News, on the shoulder as he spoke. Romney received huge applause for delivering his "Top 10 Reasons for Dropping Out of the Race," starting with: "There weren't as many Osmonds as I thought." Full list below, at DESSERT.

President Bush sent a video message, explaining that he was hosting a dinner in honor of Pope Benedict XVI: "To take my place, I asked the FUNNIEST person I know — Dick Cheney. I told the vice president that if he didn't fill in, you all would be VERY disappointed. And he said, 'So?' "

The vice president received his biggest laughs in eight years by donning dark glasses and a floppy hat and saying: "You'd be amazed at how many guys want to go FISHING with me these days." He thanked the crowd for the warm welcome: "Obviously, you're not the kind to look down on a bitter man who clings to his guns."

"I have no doubt at all that we're in the midst of a global warming — or, as I call it, 'spring.' [Laughter] I don't want to be alarmist, but it's going to get a LOT warmer."

Joking that Sen. Clinton had a few more shots after the one on camera, the vice president said: "She replaced Mark Penn with Johnny Walker. … When the 3 a.m. phone call came in, it went right to voicemail."

Awards went to CBS News and Lara Logan for her brave and insightful Iraq coverage, and NBC's David Gregory for his moving exploration of Tony Snow's life with cancer.

Al Sharpton was a guest of Fox, and Ralph Reed was in the house. The Fox "tent" at the gazebo had parquet floors, chandeliers and couches. Hadley Gamble's dress had a train — "I have a tail," she quipped.

TALKER, from the release — "Kohlberg Kravis Roberts & Co. announced that KENNETH B. MEHLMAN, noted counselor on national legislative and public affairs initiatives, will join the firm as managing director and head of global public affairs, a new position. Mr. Mehlman will focus on constructive outreach to the numerous stakeholders of KKR and its portfolio companies around the world, including relationships with governments, third parties, and NGOs. He is currently a partner at Akin Gump Strauss Hauer & Feld with a bipartisan practice in legislative and regulatory counseling. He previously served in high-level positions on Capitol Hill and the White House, including as chairman of the Republican National Committee and campaign manager of President Bush's successful reelection campaign."

Ken starts in mid-May. He won't leave his elegant D.C. house, but will split his time in N.Y.

At the White House arrival ceremony for POPE BENEDICT XVI, a South Lawn crowd that swelled to an estimated 13,500 broke into an off-key, impromptu version of "Happy Birthday" before the formal one, which included, "Happy birthday, Ho-ly Fa-ther … "

President Bush received a ROAR of approval when he said: "In a world where some treat life as something to be debased and discarded, we need your message that all human life is sacred, and that 'each of us is willed, each of us is loved' — (applause) — and your message that 'each of us is willed, each of us is loved, and each of us is necessary.' "

Both New York tabs go with a "God Bless America" front page, from the pontiff's closing line: "Mr. President, dear friends: as I begin my visit to the United States, I express once more my gratitude for your invitation, my joy to be in your midst, and my fervent prayers that Almighty God will confirm this nation and its people in the ways of justice, prosperity and peace. God bless America!"

***After the pontiff spoke — in German-accented English — audio picked up the president saying: "Thank you, Your Holiness. Awesome speech."

This led ABC's Jimmy Kimmel to mock up the DVD, "George and Ben's Excellent Adventure."

His Holiness now knows that White House communications director Kevin Sullivan has the presidential nickname of "Sully."

Today is the 10 a.m. mass at Nationals Park, the first non-baseball event in the new stadium. Plans call for His Holiness to travel around the track in the Mercedes-Benz popemobile, following the procession of clergy.

***In Washington, WJLA ABC 7 has an hour-long special about His Holiness' visit at 7 p.m.

WORLD MOST IMPORTANT NEWSPAPER for six more days, the Philly Inquirer, on last night's 90-minute DEMOCRATIC DEBATE, which ran on ABC network in prime time — perhaps the last Obama-Clinton debate: "A Bitter Aftertaste: Two spar on past gaffes and future vulnerabilities" — Inquirer Senior Writer Larry Eichel called it "a tense and grim encounter":

"While much of the debate at the National Constitution Center covered familiar ground, one unlikely and relatively new topic did emerge, involving the long-defunct Weather Underground. The Illinois senator was asked about his friendship with William Ayres, a former member of the radical group, which was responsible for fatal bombings and other crimes during its heyday four decades ago. In 2001, Ayres expressed no regret for his actions, saying, 'I feel we didn't do enough.'

" 'So this kind of game,' Obama said last night, 'in which anybody who I know, regardless of how flimsy the relationship is, that somehow their ideas could be attributed to me. I think the American people are smarter than that.' "

CLINTON, on Bosnia: "I'm not dumb. And I wrote about going to Bosnia in my book in 2004. So, I will either try to get more sleep … or, you know, have somebody that, you know, is there, as a reminder to me. You know, you can go back for the past 15 months. We both have said things that, you know, turned out not to be accurate. You know, that happens when you're talking as much as we have talked. But, you know, I'm very sorry that I said it. And I have said that, you know, it just didn't jibe with what I had written about and knew to be the truth."

OBAMA: "I recall when back in 1992, when she made a statement about how, what do you expect, should I be at home baking cookies? And people attacked her for being elitist and this and that. And I remember watching that on TV and saying, well, that's not who she is; that's not what she believes; that's not what she meant. And I'm sure that that's how she felt as well. But the problem is that that's the kind of politics that we've been accustomed to. And I think Sen. Clinton learned the wrong lesson from it, because she's adopting the same tactics."

MORE OBAMA: "[L]et me just make one last point on this issue of the flag pin. As you've noted, I wore one yesterday when a veteran handed it to me, who himself was disabled and works on behalf of disabled veterans. I have never said that I don't wear flag pins or refuse to wear flag pins. This is the kind of manufactured issue that our politics has become obsessed with and, once again, distracts us from what should be my job when I'm commander in chief, which is going to be figuring out how we get our troops out of Iraq and how we actually make our economy better for the American people."

The AP lead made HRC sound valedictor-ish again — "Clinton: 'Yes, yes, yes' Obama can win in November," by Beth Fouhy: "Hillary Rodham Clinton said emphatically Wednesday night that Barack Obama can win the White House this fall, undercutting her efforts to deny him the Democratic presidential nomination by suggesting he would lead the party to defeat."

Co-moderator George Stephanopoulos, on ABC's "Good Morning America": "Her campaign, and Sen. Clinton herself, have been making the argument to superdelegates that Barack Obama CAN'T win. In public, she was caught in a little bit of a bind. … If she didn't say directly 'yes' at some point, Democrats would blame her."

AP's Nedra Pickler in an analysis this morning: "Despite the signs that her criticisms may be backfiring, Clinton did not pull her punches against Obama. Yet she tried to soften the blows by delivering them in polite tones and often with a smile."

An unscientific DRUDGE POLL had Obama winning, 62 percent (44,348 votes) to 38 percent (27,743).

BIG ON THE BLOGS- WashPost Style front, boxed, "In Pa. Debate, The Clear Loser Is ABC," by Tom Shales: "For the first 52 minutes … Gibson and Stephanopoulos dwelled entirely on specious and gossipy trivia that already has been hashed and rehashed, in the hope of getting the candidates to claw at one another over disputes that are no longer news. Some were barely news to begin with. …

"Obama was right on the money when he complained about the campaign being bogged down in media-driven inanities and obsessiveness over any misstatement a candidate might make along the way, whether in a speech or while being eavesdropped upon by the opposition. The tactic has been to 'take one statement and beat it to death,' he said. …

"To this observer, ABC's coverage seemed slanted against Obama. The director cut several times to reaction shots of such Clinton supporters as her daughter, Chelsea, who sat in the audience at the Kimmel Theater in Philly's National Constitution Center. Obama supporters did not get equal screen time, giving the impression that there weren't any in the hall."

McCAINOCRATS — Frank Luntz post-debate on "Hannity & Colmes": "I want to show our audience something that has never happened in a debate before. How many of you in this room, if your candidate isn't chosen, will consider voting for John McCain? Raise your hands. [A bunch of hands go up.] Never at a Democratic [debate] — you're all Democrats in here."

OUT THIS MORNING — "Today, Oklahoma Superdelegate Reggie Whitten [an Oklahoma City lawyer] endorsed Barack Obama, citing his ability to unite Americans for change and his proven track record of standing up for middle-class families and workers."

Time's Mark "The Page" Halperin called it "Obama's Surly night" but gave him a better grade:

—Obama, B+: "Subdued and secure, but often peevish and cross, seemingly fed up with Clinton's fight and impatient to claim the nomination (the less attractive part of his personality shining through). … Despite his aloof, frontrunner's air, sometimes seemed angry, distracted and worn. … Bottom line: a surly, tepid night for Obama, but he still emerged stalwart and in the lead."

—Clinton, B: "Created a dilemma for herself with contradictory messages about Obama's electability. By backing off from an opportunity to assert that Obama can't beat McCain in a general election, she diluted the main remaining argument for her own candidacy. … Bottom line: Being a strong candidate with a solid message is not always enough when your opponent is viewed as comfortably ahead, and party loyalty has got you in a bind. Can she and her advisers ever argue again privately that Obama is unelectable?"

BOOKER/BLOGGER ALERT 1 — GALLUP FINDS McCAIN LACKS PURPLE POWER - "Democrats Leading McCain in 'Purple' States": "Democratic front-runner Barack Obama has a four-point advantage over presumptive Republican nominee John McCain among registered voters residing in states that were competitive in the 2004 election. Obama has a comfortable lead in states John Kerry won comfortably in 2004, as does McCain in states George W. Bush won easily.

"The analysis is based on aggregated data from Gallup Poll Daily tracking in April, consisting of interviews with more than 13,000 registered voters. … [T]he purple states include New Hampshire, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Michigan, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Iowa, Florida, Colorado, Nevada, New Mexico, and Oregon."
http://www.gallup.com/poll/106579/Democrats-Leading-McCain-Purple-States.aspx

BOOKER/BLOGGER ALERT 2 — McCAIN and ISRAEL - Politico's Ben Smith: "John McCain will make an exception for at least one category of spending in his pledge to 'veto every bill with earmarks': aid to Israel."

Democrats think this could be a huge problem for him. DNC Spokesman Damien LaVera: "Once again John McCain is trying to have it both ways. Rather than playing rhetorical games, McCain should say which is his priority: maintaining our military and economic assistance to Israel, or his promise to veto the earmark that provides that support?"

EXPLAINS A LOT - Bloomberg News, "Democrats Pushing Obama, Clinton Toward Populism, Protectionism," By Matthew Benjamin: "Protectionist and populist sentiments run strong among Democrats in three states holding presidential primaries, showing why the campaigns of candidates Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama are moving in those directions. A plurality of Democratic primary voters in Pennsylvania, Indiana and North Carolina blames predatory lenders and mortgage- company greed for the housing crisis that may be dragging the U.S. economy into a recession.

"A majority in each state favors a government bailout of homeowners in danger of foreclosure, according to a Bloomberg/Los Angeles Times poll of likely Democratic voters. Most Democratic voters in the three states also believe free trade has hurt the economy and favor tougher regulation of Wall Street."

BUSINESS BURST, from Financial Times: "Banks face closer scrutiny: The world's top banking regulators moved to tighten the screw on the industry on Wednesday with new rules aimed at preventing a repeat of the crisis that has rocked the financial system. The proposals from the Basel Committee on Banking Supervision, which sets global standards for banking regulation, underline the determination to press ahead with specific measures quickly in the aftermath of the credit turmoil, which has exposed glaring weaknesses in the global regulatory structure. 'There is huge political pressure to be seen to do something - there has to be action,' said one senior US policymaker."

SPORTS BLINK - A drive for an L.A. NFL stadium launches today: "We can claim some of the most legendary athletes, successful franchises and storied organizations in all of sports. Fourteen years have passed, however, since the last NFL game was played in Los Angeles. Los Angeles Stadium is a world class facility that will bring the NFL back to Los Angeles to begin the next chapter in our proud sports history."

—SI cover - NBA's Kobe Bryant, L.A. Lakers, and Kevin Garnett, Boston Celtics: "Playoff Dreams — Lakers vs. Celtics? The Ultimate Crowd-Pleaser." Also, "The Masters: Trevor Immelman beats the pressure."

—From N.Y. Post "Page Six": "EVEN baseball legends get moody sometimes. Yankee shortstop Derek Jeter gave a few kids attitude Saturday and refused to sign autographs after the team lost to the Red Sox. Jeter, who usually signs after games, was in the lobby of the Four Seasons Hotel in Boston when the kids approached him, but he wouldn't speak to them and told his hulking bodyguard to intervene. "He loudly said, 'I don't want to sign any autographs,' " our spy reports. The kids looked dejected, and Jeter went on his way. His agent did not return a call for comment."

DESSERT — Gov. Romney's "Top 10 Reasons for Dropping Out of the Race," which he delivered as a surprise at last night's Radio & Television Correspondents' Association dinner:

10. There weren't as many Osmonds as I thought.
9. I got tired of corkscrew landings under sniper fire.
8. As a lifelong hunter, I didn't want to miss the start of the varmint season.
7. There wasn't room for two Christian leaders.
6. I was upset that no one had bothered to search my passport files.
5. I needed an excuse to get fat, grow a beard and win the Nobel prize.
4. I took a bad fall at a campaign rally and broke my hair.
3. I wanted to finally take off that dark suit and tie, and kick back in a light-colored suit and tie.
2. Once my wife Ann realized I couldn't win, my fundraising dried up.
1. There was a miscalculation in our theory: "As Utah goes, so goes the nation."

"IDOL" UPDATE - " 'American Idol' cuts another finalist, leaving 6 contestants," from AP: "The praise of Mariah Carey couldn't rescue Kristy Lee Cook from elimination on 'American Idol.' The 24-year-old resident country singer from Selma, Ore., was the latest casualty as the Fox sing-off narrowed the competition to six finalists. Though guest mentor Carey said Cook's rendition of 'Forever' gave her chills, Simon Cowell was not so impressed. Brooke White and Syesha Mercado joined Cook with the lowest number of votes on Wednesday's results show. When asked to predict the loser, Cowell said: 'Maybe Kristy — you know, your time's up this time, sweetheart.' Cook cried but took the eviction in stride. She directed her reprisal of 'Forever' to Cowell, who grinned awkwardly.

D.C. WEATHER, from WJLA ABC 7's Brian van de Graaff: "Temperatures spike quickly … and will soar into the mid and upper 70s. Tonight temperatures do not fall as far, although there will once again be a wide spread; 50 degrees downtown and low 40s in the suburbs. … Friday still appears to be the toastiest day of the week with readings around 80 degrees under sunshine-filled skies."

CHICAGO WEATHER, from Weather.com: "Cloudy. A stray shower or thunderstorm is possible. High 64F."